When you can’t go back and when you can’t see forward. When change is inevitable
Have you ever found yourself in a period of transition in your life where you don’t see clearly where you are heading but staying where you are no longer give you the comfort that it used to. Transition is sometimes easy and sometimes difficult. In any case, it is inevitable and often not at the time that we wish it would come. Transition is the bridge between what was and what will be and it can be the most uncomfortable thing to deal with.
How do you know that you are in a transition period?
What you used to do is no longer fulfilling, your comfort zone is no longer comfortable and safe. Familiarity does not soothe you anymore. You feel uninspired, irritated and sometimes even down in your mood.
So what do you during that phase?
Be in tune with your inner self. Transition typically comes when change is required because where you are is no longer serving you and your authentic self is calling you to something better and deeper to move into. God never gives the full picture. He gives hints through what you hear, through what you see and feel and your intuition and even dreams. But it is never clear from beginning to end and that is the place where you have to learn to lean on Him more.
Be ok not being ok. Meaningful and major transitions are never comfortable. Feeling frustrated, feeling overwhelmed, confused and exhausted are usually associated with it and you have to be graceful to yourself enough during those tough days knowing that it is ok to not be ok. It’s is ok not know the way out, it is ok to not know all the steps required of you to get to the end goal or to not even know what the end goal is. Just rest in the fact that God’s plan for yourself is to give you a future and a hope and that He works everything out for the good of those who love Him. So regardless of the twists and turns, He will take all the pieces and make a masterpiece out of them. Just do what you know to do in the best capacity that you know to and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Because the closer you get the clearer the image will start to get.
Embrace the process. During transition period, it is important to embrace the process not because it is easy but because it is necessary. Because the more resistance you create the harder it becomes to see your way clearly.
Trust that you are not alone. God never leaves or forsake His children and you are not the only person on the planet going through a transition right now. So it is important to remind yourself, somewhere on this planet someone else is going through it too and that you are not alone even if it feels like it. And the faithfulness of God is not dependent on how good you are in making decisions, or not sinning but He is faithful no matter what, He is patient to guide your steps even though you may not see it or feel it. Sometimes the cloud can be so dark and thick you can’t even see the sun that is shining but that does not mean that it is not shining. It is the same thing for God just because your attention is so focused on the discomfort, the pain, the isolation does not mean He is not in it with you.
Surrender control. Transition is about releasing control as much as much as it is gaining control. Gaining control in the sense that you accept the reality that you are going through a transition, accepting that you don’t know what you are doing or where you are going, accepting that it is uncomfortable, and willing to go through it. But it is surrendering control because it is not an endpoint but a bridge, so you can’t hold on to it. Surrendering control means to be willing to let go of the need to know the details, to know which step to take next, to know which way to turn ahead of time. You must be willing to surrender it to God knowing that He will give you instructions in due time and that He already had made provision for the journey. Surrendering control knowing everything in life is there to guide you to become a healthier, better and stronger version of yourself that you can pour into others through your service.
Be curious. When your soul and spirit demand that you change, it is because it is time for you to make acquaintance with a deeper and better part of you. It is to discover more of your characters, values, gifts, talents, your place of unhealed pain, trauma that needs more attention so you can become your godly version. To become who you were created to be. So instead of resisting it, lean into it and be curious. Explore what triggers you, what bring you joy, what is making you anxious, what is making you depressed. What part of your values are you violating that is causing the internal friction? What are you indulging in that is slowly but surely destroying you but you refuse to let go because it is familiar, because it is the devil you know and you rather deal with it then taking the risk into something new. Be curious by spending quiet time alone, listening to your own thoughts without judgement, without holding on to them but just observing. What is your body is saying to you? What are your prevalent emotions communicating to you? What is your intuition telling you that are you are dismissing either because you don’t trust yourself enough or you care about what others think too much or because you are afraid of failing or succeeding? Be curious to discover yourself.
Embrace the new. Transition requires you to embrace the fact that you have to let go of that old you. That piece of you that needs to be left into the past because it won’t serve you or equip you enough for the future that is awaiting you. It requires that you embrace the new. Even if that new is unclear, it is not the end goal that needs to be clear, you simply have to accept that the new is here every morning just as grace and strength are renewed every morning and you choose to take one more step in the right direction.